How to cope with grief at work - and support others who are grieving

Grieving at work can feel surreal, disorienting, and exhausting. Whether you’re coping with a loss yourself or trying to support someone who is, this guide offers real-world insight and compassionate strategies for navigating grief in the workplace.

A forest trail winding between trees and into the distance

Grief doesn’t wait until the workday ends.

The grieving process doesn’t hit pause when you return to work. Whether you’re back a week or a month after a loss, it can feel like the world is carrying on while you’re quietly falling apart. Maybe you’re struggling to focus. Maybe a simple email makes you tear up. Maybe you feel numb, flat, or anxious. Or maybe you’re the manager or colleague watching someone go through this, unsure how to help, afraid of saying the wrong thing.

This article explores the grieving process at work, what it can feel like, how to cope with it, and how to show up for others with care and respect.

What the grieving process can feel like at work

Grief can affect your concentration, emotional regulation, energy, and memory - all things we rely on heavily in a work environment. And yet most workplaces are not designed to accommodate the unpredictability of grief.

You might be sitting at your desk, trying to reply to a message, and find that your brain just… stalls. Or maybe you’re in a meeting and realise you’ve lost track of the conversation completely. This is common. The mental fog, irritability, and emotional exhaustion many people experience during grief can make even simple tasks feel monumental.

Grief and work don’t always mix well. But for many people, financial or professional realities mean returning to the office (or Zoom) before they feel ready. That can lead to:

A sense of disconnection from others
Sudden emotional surges (especially when a colleague asks, “How are you?”)
Feeling out of sync or out of place
Difficulty focusing, remembering things, or making decisions
Needing more breaks than usual, even if you don’t take them

Many of these experiences overlap with those described in this article exploring how grief affects memory, mood, and emotional processing.

How to cope with grief at work

There’s no perfect way to manage grief at work, but there are ways to care for yourself during it. A few grounding strategies:

1. Be honest (within your comfort zone)

You don’t need to disclose everything. But if you feel able, letting your manager or team know you’re going through a loss can help set expectations. You might simply say: “I’ve had a recent bereavement, so I may be a little quieter than usual.”

2. Build in buffer time

Grief doesn’t run on a clock. Meetings, deadlines, and performance reviews might not line up with your emotional reality. If you can, block short breaks in your day to breathe, walk, or just pause.

3. Lower the bar (for now)

This isn’t forever, it’s a recalibration. Aim for “good enough,” not “at your best.” Your focus and productivity may dip. That doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human.

4. Identify grief triggers

Certain tasks, people, or places might bring up emotion. It could be something you used to share with the person you lost. If you can spot those moments, you can approach them with more self-compassion.

5. Talk to someone

If your grief feels unmanageable - or just heavy - grief counselling can offer a space to process outside of work. Therapy isn’t about fixing grief. It’s about helping you carry it.

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“Work doesn’t stop for grief, but you can find ways to soften the edges.”

How to support a grieving colleague or employee

If someone on your team is grieving, it can be hard to know what to do. But small gestures go a long way.

1. Acknowledge the loss

A simple “I’m so sorry for your loss - I’m thinking of you” is better than silence. Ignoring it often makes people feel more alone.

2. Don’t expect them to perform

Even if they’ve chosen to return to work, that doesn’t mean they’re “back to normal.” Offer flexibility. Accept that energy and focus may fluctuate.

3. Avoid platitudes

Comments like “They’re in a better place” or “Everything happens for a reason” can feel dismissive. Instead, let them lead the conversation, or sit in silence if that’s what they need.

4. Offer, don’t assume

Ask what kind of support would help. “Would it be okay if I took that off your plate this week?” is better than assuming they want business as usual.

5. Be patient

Grief isn’t over in two weeks. It might not even be over in two years. Long-term, keep checking in, even quietly, so they know the door is still open.

If you’re managing a team, consider reviewing workplace policies on compassionate leave and mental health support.

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6 things to know about grieving in the workplace

What helps - and what hurts — when you’re grieving at work:

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1. You’re not expected to be “okay”

You can be professional and grieving. These aren’t opposites.

2. Your performance may dip - that’s normal

You’re not failing. Your system is carrying something heavy.

3. Taking breaks isn’t laziness

Your nervous system needs time to settle. Micro-breaks help.

4. People may not know what to say

Their awkwardness doesn’t mean your grief is a burden. It just means they care and don’t want to get it wrong.

5. It’s okay to set boundaries

You don’t owe anyone emotional access. Say “Thanks for asking, but I’d rather not talk about it right now.”

6. Support exists, and it’s valid to use it

Whether through HR, a therapist, or your GP, seeking support is a strength.

The awkwardness of returning to normal

One of the hardest things about grieving at work is that everything feels normal, but you don’t. People are chatting about weekend plans. Deadlines are still looming. And inside, you’re navigating an emotional landscape that feels like another planet.

That mismatch can create a strange tension. Do you join in the small talk? Push through the day? Say something when you’re overwhelmed?

There’s no rulebook. But it can help to know that this tension is normal. It’s okay to smile and still be grieving. It’s okay to feel out of place. And it’s okay to take it one hour at a time.

You don’t have to grieve perfectly - or alone

Grieving at work is one of the quietest challenges people face, and one of the most misunderstood. Whether you’re grieving or supporting someone who is, patience, compassion, and realistic expectations matter more than polished professionalism.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, or unsure how to carry grief through your workdays, you’re not doing it wrong. You’re just doing something hard, and you don’t have to do it alone.

Grief therapy can offer a dedicated space to process, not just what you’ve lost, but who you’re becoming in its wake.

Struggling to balance grief and work?

You don’t have to carry this alone. Therapy can offer space, support, and strategies for coping - inside and outside of

Speak to a Therapist

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